Freeing Myself

 

A new attitude

I will show you

Tonight!

I do not give a shit

I do not longer care

Your eyes spoke to me

The harshest of truths

“Run away ’silly thing’,

For love and care

Were never felt in here”

 

You said you loved me

But you never showed it

You said you wanted me

But you never did

Excuses, mere excuses

To say no,

To make me wait

To actually feel loved

 

Eventually, I got tired

Sick and tired!

Of just hearing words

I’m giving you up

I will set a place

Just for you

Back and behind

In the darkest oblivion

Of my restless mind

 

Desperately I need to forget

The plans and stories

You damagingly helped create

The long hours in vain spent

Making up undoable dreams

Of an unreal future for you

That I in my naivety

Felt them believable

 

Even though I might

From time to time

Think about you and smile

And then unhappily sigh

And lonely wonder whether

You are fine

Never will I allow myself

To show you

That I still

Uncontrollably bleed