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Posts Tagged ‘life.’

 

I have recently commited to being a Beachbody Coach. I want to help people become fit and healthy as I travel through this journey myself. I invite you to follow me on my journey into fitness, which means not only losing weight, but also becoming the best that I can possibly be. I want you to follow me, I want you to read my posts, and if you are someone who needs help and motivation towards reaching a fitness goal, please contact me. I will stand by you no matter what, and I will help you succeed.

I am not perfect, and if you read my blog, you will know that I am far from that, but I will “do my best and forget the rest” and keep pushing play in order to achieve my goal.

In my other blog, you will find more about myself. You will see pictures, and even videos that I will be posting. And also recipes of healthy meals that you can enjoy guilt free! 🙂

Come join me in my journey, together we can do this!

 

So click here and get to know me!

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Vainly, I try to take you out of my thoughts, but that’s an impossible undoable task. “Something always brings me back to you”. I insist on calling you! And you keep rejecting my calls, making up excuses for not being able to answer the phone!

It would be much easier if you told me that I cannot call you anymore… that it bothers you, that I should stop this craziness. But rather you encourage me! You allow me to keep on with my obsession of wanting to know at every second about you! And yet, you keep letting it ring on its own, as if a ghostly force would come and pick it up… It would be much easier not to know your number at all…

“Set me free! Let me be!” Unlock these invisible chains that restrain me from carrying on and that hold me close to your distant being. Or else, be here now! Be more present than just 5 minutes a week. I thought I was strong. I thought I wouldn’t mind the ocean between us… But it’s been far too much, and I just can’t swim.

I look at my phone as if it would ring by just keeping my eyes on it… But it’s dead mute. What’s the purpose of loving someone when you are unable to express how you really feel? No Pur- Pose at All!. Insignificantly, I go on, trying to refrain myself from making these Never-Answered-by-You phone calls. It would be much easier if I could move on…

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Exiled

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No my love, do not cry.

No tears should be dropped tonight.

It’s not you, it’s I

I’m doing this for the best of us.

 

No my love, please don’t cry.

Forgive me for I cannot hold you

There’s no room for you in my arms

Believe me; it’s for the best of us.

 

Though feelings might be there

Deep deep inside of me

Though I might still care

I ought to do this for the best of thee.

 

Do not implore to come with me

You have dreams I cannot fulfil

I could never be the father

Of your longed dreamt kids.

 

No my love, do not shed tears

Hold them back; be strong.

You will find your path on this life

However you will have to walk alone.

 

No my love, please do not weep

I am leaving now; forever gone.

I was sent away in exile

To an extremely distant and unknown land.

 

No my love, do not hold my hands

For they must be the carriage of hope

No my love, do not kiss my lips

For they must inevitably utter goodbye.

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From Within

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I embrace a pain inside

Which I’m not ready to release

For I have too much

Too much of which none is mine

 

I grief in silence

For it would be so good for you

That I could give a bit of what I own

It’s too much just for me and my soul

 

The more I am in here

The more inconsiderate I feel

For not being allowed

To grant you

Not even a fragment of myself

 

Will you be annoyed at me,

When I disclose my truth to you?

Shame should fall on me

For not being thankful enough

To the Lord for what I own

 

Oh my dear,

Release me from by burden

Now even heavier than before

Blame me not, on my kneels, I beg!

For none has been my fault

 

And this pain is like a worm

That’s eating me from within

But only will it leave

When the truth has been released

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Quietly

They run in silence down my face

They run without an explanation

They make me feel unsafe

 

They won’t show themselves to you

They will wait until I’m gone

They will bring black thoughts

 

Dreadfully oppressed

By this feeling of constant loneliness

I see my culminating days

 

They have placed the blame on me

They have suppressed my thoughts

They have murdered my hopes

 

In silence down my face they run

Without an explanation

Making me feel unsafe

 

By no means can I let you know

The aching pain that my heart holds

Once more I feel oppressed

 

Time and time again

I blame myself

For the wrong I always make

 

Time and time again

I blame myself

For not having words to say

 

Dreadfully oppressed

For believing myself

The cause of your unhappiness

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Remembering

–>Written for my best friend whom I’ve known  for almost all my life and who have recently stopped talking to me for no reason at all. Mili, this is for you…

Remember when we used to play
With our dolls when we were kids?
We would spend hours in
The back yard garden of my house
Inventing stories of love
Imaging ourselves being adults

Remember when we used to sit
In the front door of your home?
We no longer played with dolls
We were interested in boys!
We would spend hours
Talking of our illusive joys

Remember when we used to stay
up until the sun would come?
Talking nonsense of our
Non-correspondent loves
Laughing and crying
But never arguing

Remember our lives today
Some time ago, not long though
We were as close as sisters
Don’t pretend to have forgotten
Seventeen years of friendship
Must still mean something

Remember I’m still here
Dreaming with words
But packing my memories
In an empty box
Hope you would be the same
Before I have already moved on

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For a love that now I know it’s forever gone…

I will leave
And set you free
I will walk away
From your dreams

From your memories
Far away I’ll be
As “Goodbye” you said
You needn’t to worry
For I won’t call again

Erase me
Remove me
Send me away from
Your thoughts
Don’t think of me anymore

I’ll hide my feelings
In the dark corners
Of my heart
I won’t ever tell those
To you again
My voice you will forget

I’m leaving now
Setting you
Forever
Free

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