Returning from Nothingness

I’m back again… It’s been so long since my last post.. So Here I am.. trying to make something new out of this flux of continous thoughts that won’t let me sleep at night nor breath during day…

“Why do I write? Why writing something he would never get to read?” I’ve asked myself a thousand times postponing my lines till I have something better to write about, something someone will finally read… not miles away….but right here, right now, by my side… But I keep waiting and that moment seems never to come… never to happen. But I need to speak! I need to take this pain off my shoulders.. it’s too heavy… to unbearable.. I cannot breath.. it feels like a virus, eating me from within.. I’ve lost part of myself…. I forgot who I was… How can I recover it back?? Perhaps it is too late… Perhaps he no longer cares… Perhaps my pessimism, my endless insecurity drew him away …. But I need to speak.. And I beg you to listen to me…

Read Full Post »

Palabras en el Adiós… III

HIJO:

Por Dios, hay padre mío

No sabía cuanto por mí has sufrido

Pero sabes  cuanto he querido

Volver a tu camino

 

Más maldita triste hormona

De mujer en mi elevada

Que me condena siempre eterna

 Al amor por quien en mi se aparenta

 

Es igual a mi lo se

Pero son a ellos a los que siempre amé

Y a los que siempre guardaré en mí ser

Por que ellos amor me dieron, aquellos que en mujeres nunca encontré

 

PADRE:

Calla hijo mío

 Mi corazón tú hieres

Vasta ya de feas palabras

Acciones nefastas que ennegrecieron mi ilusión

 

HIJO:

Padre por favor perdona

Por no ser un buen hijo

Padre mío, padre perdona

Por no ser un buen amigo

 

PADRE:

Hijo mío te perdono

Por que siempre te he dicho

Que serás siempre mi ser

Aunque tú no lo querías ver

 

HIJO:

Padre mío me estoy muriendo

 Por esa cruel enfermedad

De la que afecta continuamente

 A nuestra despreciada comunidad

 

Padre padre perdóname por que dolido me voy

De haber sido soberbio

De haberte odiado por mucho tiempo

Sin motivo ni razón

 

Padre mío perdona

Si alguna vez nos encontramos.

Dime siempre que te escucha}che

Que te preste atención

 

Si yo lo hubiese hecho

 Ahora no estaría acá contigo

Con esta, mi triste situación

 

PADRE:

Nos te preocupes ya hijo mío

Descansa ahora amigo

Aunque seas lo que fueres

Siempre serás mi hijo

 

Read Full Post »

Bulímicamente Hablando

 

Con dos dedos en la boca

Y mis esperanzas muertas

Entro en baño para desechar

La mierda que hay en mí

 

Mirando ese asiento blanco

Presiono la lengua con mis dedos

Para librarme de las palabras

Que en vano te dije

Palabras que ni siquiera escuchaste

 

Vomito, vomito y desecho

El amor que tanto te tengo

Porque inútil es amarte

Cuando haces todo por evitarme

Despreciarme y humillarme

 

Vomito, vomito y sacó de mí

Y dejo en el fondo de la podredumbre

Aquello que una vez te di

Todo el amor y comprensión

Que con tanto afán pisoteaste

 

Interminables son las horas

Seguiría vomitando

Por toda una eternidad

Porque inacabable es

El amor que por vos sentí

 

Vomitar para expeler

Lo que no quiero más contener

Vomitar y olvidar que por vos

Di mi vida y mucho más

Olvidarte por fin y sacarte de mí

Read Full Post »

Happy Birthday to Me! :(

I did not want any gift

Or tasty meal

Nor even the sweetest cakes

 

I was not expecting

The sun would rise

And kill the envious night

 

I was not expecting my house

Full of people

I might know

 

I was not wishing

For the above stars

To write my name

On the sky

 

My only wish

Was that you’d come

And say you love me

 

My only wish

Was to have your love

In this special day

Read Full Post »

Injuries of War

While death is everywhere

Hope has fallen apart

How can your people not realize

The damage caused in our lives.

 

Can’t they see our innocent blood

Furiously flowing down the streets

And becoming mud with the soil?

 

How is it that they pay no heed

To the exhausting weeping of our kids

It is not their fault but ours

For having given them birth

On this land of eternal wars

 

Oh dear Lord!

Where have you gone?

Have you perchance become deaf?

Do you still hear our prayers?

 

My childish heart still

Fails to understand

Why is it that man’s souls

Are made of greed and

Endless thirst for more.

 

Is the ambition to have

These lands on your side

Worth the death of thousand of lives?

 

Oh my dear God,

In your hands we are

Do of us what you think it’s right.

Read Full Post »

Oh… How much I miss him..

Maula Mere

maula mere, maula mere, maula mere, maula mere
My God, My God, My God, My God
aankhein teri, kitni haseen
Your eyes, how beautiful
ki inkaa aashiq, mein ban gayaa hoon
That I have become their lover
mujhako basaa le, inme tu
Captivate me in them

(ishq hai
It is love
maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere
My God, My God, My God, My God
ki inkaa aashiq, mein ban gayaa hoon
That I have become their lover
mujhako basaa le, inme tu
My heart says, captivate me in them

mujhse yeh har ghadi, meraa dil kahe
My heart tells me all the time
tum hi ho usaki aarzoo
You are its desire
mujhse yeh har ghadi, mere lab kahe
My lips tells me all the time
teri hi ho sab guftagoo
You are all it talks about
baatein teri itni haseen, main yaad inko jab kartaa hoon
Your speech is so enchanting, that when I remember them
phoolon si aaye, khushaboo
A scent of flowers prevails

rakh loon chhupaa ke main kahin tujhako
Let me hide you somewhere
saayaa bhi teraa naa main doon
Where your shadow can not reach
rakh loon banaa ke kahin ghar, main tujhe
Let me keep you in a house
saath tere, main hi rahoon
I will be there with you
zulfein teri, itni ghani
Your hair is so rich
dekh ke inko, yeh sochataa hoon
I think when I look at it
saaye me, inake main jiyoon
To live in them like a shadow

(ishq hai
It is love
maula mere, maula mere maula mere, maula mere
My God, My God, My God, My God
(meraa dil yahi bolaa, meraa dil yahi bola,
My heart told me, my heart told me
yaara raaz yeh usne hai mujh par kholaa
Friend, this secret has been opened up to me
ki hai ishq mohabbat, jiske dil mein
That love is in the heart of
usko pasand karta hai maulaa)
Whoever God loves

——-

Only God knows the secrets in my heart
Only God knows the depth of my love

I wish I could live in his eyes
He’s got a place in my heart

Ishq hai…

maula mere..

 

Only God knows that in my thoughts

Only his name is uttered

 

I wish I could let him know

My most inner thoughts

Read Full Post »