A sad tune robs me of my momentarily smile and tears run down my face once more; it’s you I’m thinking of. I cannot do anything else except needing you… It’s so hard to live with feelings of insecurity and loneliness clutching up in my heart. I am not supposed to be feeling like this, but I cannot stop it… I am not able to suppress this annihilating sadness… I am incomplete.
Where are you now? It’s been so many days. Not a phone call. Not an email. Not even an offline message. And I am sitting here alone, surrounded by the voices of my loneliness that kindly induce me into this every-day-grief. This agony of waiting for you hours; pretending that I am actually doing something else when I am just sitting in vain waiting for my phone to ring or to hear the sound of an incoming message from the chat box.
As the moment seems too long, I call. The waiting tune of your mobile puts me on hold for more than two minutes. No one answers. It rings until a message appears on my mobile screen: “the other party did not answer. Call again?” I press yes. Again the same happens. I give up. I know if I keep on calling it will be the same. It’s happened before. You are not there; I choose to believe this.
By far I’d better believe that you are busy or away from your phone than looking at this picture that often crosses my mind. You are sitting on a chair, talking to someone I cannot recognize. Your phone rings. You look at it for two seconds, and then, you mute it. You don’t want it to bother your conversation. It actually bothers you. You place your muted mobile in the pocket of your jacket. It keeps ringing but it is not bothering you anymore. I’ve been silenced.
Silent Thoughts 